you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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