is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
