no you cant smoke seaweed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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