I feel great
I just peed on a car
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
