my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
