yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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