Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
