Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
