blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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