my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
