He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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