Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I could make wine with my vomit
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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