i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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