dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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