I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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