He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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