so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
