It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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