I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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