know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize