guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
