Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think a kid would responsible me up
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
