Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
be right there i have to get my cape
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
