I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Randomize
