put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
