Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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