He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
