So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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