so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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