I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
