it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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