Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
