i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry about my life...
I am naked and annoyed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My life is pants optional.
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