oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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