shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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