So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
