Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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