My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize