We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
