stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
