Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize