what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
