She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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