He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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