Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
