i think my tv is drunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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