Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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