You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
