I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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