I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
