Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
