you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
