His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
