you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
