She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
