DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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