Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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