Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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