Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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