Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
