Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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