I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
