i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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