wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
