i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
