He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
